vintage sewing patterns & used paperbacks from the 60's

in an attempts to give myself a little more space i decided to do a mega rearrange last night. it was the first one i have done in the four years that i have been here. i was able to make a huge bookshelf for all of my books to be stacked in that messy bohemian sort of way. I've always loved to look at my book collection. to me it might as well be art from some fantastic artist... during my marriage i had to hide it in the bedroom. the first time kell complained about my unsightly book collection i tell you i was devastated. .. if this man didn't love the sight of books how could he possibly begin to understand me?? oh how dramatic i always had to be. it makes everything that is me sing. i am mad about old 60's and 70's paperbacks with their worn yellowed pages & dated art. i love the way they have been read and re read. loved, ashed on. food sometimes stains the pages. i love underlined parts or even a simple heart aside a particularly brilliant part. since wee are on the subject of old romantic things i love.... well i love old old country music in a run down honky tonk with a jukebox playing on a warm summer night. anyways.

i made my space into a much more efficient studio. i put up my board of inspiration, love, clippings, ribbons, notes, vintage pattern envelopes, sewing notions, photo booth photos, paintings of birds from the 1920's...my board looks exactly like me. i can honestly feel my heart warm up when i look at my board. it just really makes me want to pull out my paints and get messy. i can say that i think i am the most appealing and lovable when i am in my old vintage painting overalls. there is something about being splattered in paint that gives me confidence. i love being a mess in color. oh, i forgot. i accidentally kicked over one of my vintage suitcases that i keep all of my photos, letters, mementos, angst ridden poetry, etc...etc... so i had to sit down and actually somewhat neatly put it all back together. i decided i would pull out my most favorite photos of danya and i , i also i pulled out a few photos that were of various favorite memories of my early 20's ..... i pinned them up beside my board just to be reminded that i have wonderful memories. memories i sometimes forget when i dwell on the broken parts of my past for more than a moment. i still find myself caught in a lite cry from time to time. the sort where your eyes really just fill enough to drop two or three tears. that is fine by me.