....if i were to say that i don't have a severe attatchment to my anorexia-esque eating approach although this time it is healthier. i am being nourished. i am eating things other than salsa and steamed carrots. i just keep my calories low enough to keep be bone thin. i especially am clinging to the hope that i will be happy again when i am in control of my food even more than i already am. i am hoping i will be happy when i am not in so much pain. when the idea of stumbling through brierwood actually sounds like a great idea. trust me, sometimes it does. right now my phone has 21 text messages that i have no desire to scroll through. i have missed calls and i don't give a fuck who is calling. my shades are drawn. my room is dark. i actually fixed my blonde hair today. that is huge. i am in a reality bites mood. i am feeling 100% winona today. you know what i mean....you remember the way she sulks and chain smokes while unloading her totally heavy heart to some phone psychic... that is me.
today. im listening to my reality bites soundtrack and then i am going to wallow in self pity but totally smile about it. then i am going to dig some obscene deep book out of my book collection. something like chomsky and i am going to call myself a saint. saint drakeula. amen. whos with me? by the way, winona has pretty much dated everyone i have ever wanted in hollywood. amazing. beck. depp.dave mother-fuckin grohl. i mean the list goes on.
im pretty sure she will alwaysd be queen of the 90's to me. such a remarkable beauty. i love you winona~!
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